A poem for nontraditional students

One Nontraditional Student

He doesn't always talk enough,
and sometimes he talks too much.
The other students can't figure him out. Not really.

They think, Just who really is that older person sitting in the front row?
Doesn't he know that it isn't cool to ask so many questions?
Sometimes he has to sit on his hands, he thinks.
And is school the only thing he thinks about?
He wants to be able to do so much more.

I need  to think about school, he says to himself.
He needs to think about important things,
the other students would say.
Like getting some new clothes, like getting an i-pod.
Like partying, like making some new friends.

And especially like not being so serious all the time.

But instead, he is thinking about his job and how he can stop being late,
about his kids and how he can still spend some time with them today,
even though his homework isn't done yet.

And how much sleep will he get tonight? Not enough.

Does his wife or girlfriend tell him he is smart?
Sometimes not.
He tells himself he is not smart enough sometimes,
but he'd never admit it to anyone else.

Stuff like that belongs inside, a secret.
And he worries if he's made a bad mistake, and
adds up the money of his loan again in his head.

Just how many more months and years will it be, he wonders.
He's pretty sure he has all his ducks in a row,
but what if he needs to take a class over? What if he doesn't make it?
Will he get that better grade, and pull up the rest of them?
Too many questions. Maybe he will just block them out.
He knows he won't quit, because he is not a quitter.
But sometimes he wonders.

He wonders if he has enough money for the extra books he needs.
And maybe tomorrow he'll try to ask the teacher a question after class.
He feels like it's a stupid question, but he still needs to find out.
He's beyond worrying if anyone will wonder why he is asking.
Well, almost.

He knows he is pretty tired most of the time.
He is almost to the point where he doesn't care what anyone thinks...
but not quite yet.

 -Betsyanne

Some of my links!
The Nontrad site and blog
The Betsyanne page and blog
My Squidoo Pages and referral