I am not smart enough.
I just can't do the things others can do.
Nobody likes me.
I am ugly/stupid/ and unworthy.
I will never be able to do what I want to do.
I will never succeed at anything.
These are pretty serious things to say! And they are not true.
Sometimes I guess everyone gets down on themselves. But sometimes this can happen every day. It can get to be part of your life. If you find yourself believing all the time that you are worthless and are depressed about it, you could have low self-esteem or other problems that take reality and make it into something hurtful and totally not true.
Low self-esteem can interfere with your life. You can start making a wall with it too - - a wall you can't climb over. And it can make doing things like going back to school or succeeding there almost impossible.
Something I read once made a big impression. The author said that if somebody else said mean things to somebody you cared about, you would tell that person, "Hey, stop it! That person is my friend and does not deserve to be talked about like that." But are we kind to ourselves like that? No!
Too often, we say really mean things to ourselves! And we don't deserve that. I know that this does not make much sense, because being mean to yourself and unforgiving of yourself only makes things worse. It can make us see a warped picture of ourselves and a warped picture of reality. It can stop us from doing things that make us happy.
Dr. Wayne Dyer, the famous self-help guru and bestselling author, also zeroed in on this problem in at least one of his books.
Here is something that can help you: if you find yourself being ultra-hard on yourself, (and sometimes I do that too)... remember that everyone makes mistakes, making mistakes is part of what makes us human.
If you talk down to yourself by saying negative things to yourself, it puts you and your life in a rut. Here is one of Dr. Dyer's quotes that illustrates this perfectly:
“Self-worth comes from one thing -- thinking that you are worthy.”
One suggestion: try to say one positive thing about yourself for each negative thing you catch yourself saying to yourself. Try doing this for a whole day - then a whole week - then all the time.
You could find after awhile you will be a lot happier.
Find out more by reading some more articles:
From the Nontrad Blog:
How to be your own cheerleader
10 Motivational Tips for the Nontraditional Student
and here are some more from other people:
Self-esteem and the College Student by Joe Shearer
Is your Self-Esteem Low? (from Miles College, Alabama)
Self-esteem, and how to raise it (from Clarkson College, Nebraska)
Listen to Dr. Wayne Dyer on YouTube - the Kitten and the Alley Cat
Nontraditionally Yours,
-Betsyanne
The Nontrad site and blog
The Betsyanne page and blog
My Squidoo Pages and referral